Are you being taken advantage of in order to avoid a potential conflict.
A people pleaser is a type of person who are “too nice”, almost always putting everyone else’s needs before their own. They never say “no”, are always volunteering to help, and make sure that everyone else’s needs are met first before they worry about themselves. It may sound like a good thing to always help others but this can quickly lead to emotional and physical burnout. Common examples include:
- Agreeing to cover a shift or pick up a project at work that you know you cannot do
- Not doing activities that you want to do because it may bother other people
- Doing things that you don’t want to or can’t do because you’re afraid others will be mad at you if you say no
- Experiencing guilt at the thought of saying “no” to someone
- Being afraid people would not like you if they knew the real you
- Having a hard time sharing your true feelings
- Going to great lengths to avoid conflict
- Becoming very uncomfortable at the thought of someone being mad at you
All of these qualities point to the larger theme that you are the last priority in your own life. An important step for healthier well being is learning to put your own needs first. Recognizing that you are not responsible for anyone else’s feelings, not their happiness, sadness, anger, etc. Sharing your wants and needs in an assertive and healthy way reduces people pleasing behavior and is a critical step in your own journey of wellness. Meaning, you are able to stand up for your own needs and still be respectful of the other person.
If you’re interested in learning more or taking the next step in avoiding the negative aspects of being a people pleaser and putting yourself first, please visit us at https://www.specializedtherapy.com/ or call 201-488-6678.