Do you often feel overwhelmed by your partner’s emotions? Do find you rarely focus on your own needs? Are you unsure where you end & your partner begins? If you answered yes to these questions, chances are that you are struggling with codependency. Codependency is defined as over-reliance on a person or in layman’s terms ‘Needing to be needed’.
Often stemming from childhood, Codependency is fostered & developed when we are in relationships with partners or parents who struggle with addiction &/or mental health and need more help from us than we are capable of providing. And thus.. the hustle for worthiness & people pleasing begins. As a result of this upbringing and or adult relationship, we tend to become approval seekers and lose our own identities & needs in the process due to our overdeveloped sense of responsibility.
Some patterns & characteristics of codependency include (but are not limited to); low self-esteem, very difficult time tolerating seeing others in distress, overly compliant/loyal, martyrdom, difficulty setting appropriate boundaries with others, always need to be in control & or allow others to control them, avoid their own feelings & often use passive aggression, fear of confrontation, high tolerance of abuse, and enabling others.
Although most codependent’s appeared very happy & ‘nice’ and proclaim to enjoy meeting other people’s needs, it is actually a very difficult & lonely way to live because they do not allow themselves to be their own person with their own thoughts and feelings.
Here are some steps to improve codependent relationships:
- Setting effective boundaries
- Taking time for yourself & your own talents
- Letting go of what others think of you & focus more on what you think of you
- Allow yourself to agree to disagree while maintaining your own opinions
If you or someone you know is struggling with codependency or want to learn the answer to the question, “Are you Struggling with Codependency?”, call Specialized Therapy Associates today at 1-201-488-4849 and we will be happy to help!