When I got engaged a year & a half ago, I truly had no idea how stressful it would be to actually plan a wedding. Despite hearing how difficult it was from others & how excited they were that it was over. I was determined that the wedding blues would not happen to me! I had heard from so many people who had gotten married before me that I should ‘just enjoy being engaged’ because the ‘time will fly by’.. so, I was eager to find a way to be fully present & enjoy the journey while still being present for my other responsibilities. This thought process was the impetus from “Marriage & Mindfulness”
I’m sure most people who have planned a wedding can agree that it will consume your life if you let it. As I reflect on my recent wedding (10/21/17), I can personally speak to just how important incorporating ‘Marriage & Mindfulness’ was into my daily life and also, the impact it had on my wedding day going as beautifully as it went. It doesn’t end there though! Mindfulness continues to play a key role in regulating one’s emotions as the adrenaline & excitement of just getting married wears off (Beware of the adrenaline dump!).
Throughout the wedding planning process, it is VERY easy to get caught up in the little details and lose sight of the big picture, ie; picking the song for during the cake cutting & picking the table linen colors, the order of the bridesmaids (Yes, you actually do have to pick out every detail). However, in the midst of all this planning chaos, it is important to remember what the day is truly about and to also have a life outside of just planning the wedding. Otherwise, you will probably become a ball of anxiety and put yourself at risk for being so high strung on the actual wedding day, that you emotionally miss the beautiful party that you’ve spent all those months planning. What sense does that make? NONE!
Additionally, there will be times when you’ve lost a whole day to marriage planning and still feel like you’ve gotten nothing done (its a losing battle), so it’s important to expect that as part of the process and just feel satiated with completing tasks, slow & steady. Also, try to be patient with yourself because when you add having a job, maintaining your relationship, trying to eat healthily & go to the gym, etc on top of wedding planning and you have exactly. ZERO no hours left in the day. Unless you practice “Marriage & Mindfulness” and carve out that much needed time for yourself. After all, this BIG day is all about YOU!
So how do we incorporate the techniques of “Marriage & Mindfulness” and prevent what should be one of the most exciting days of life from completely consuming you?
- Make a wedding binder: This will be the place where you keep all of your wedding-related paperwork so it can all be in one place instead of all over your house. (Make sure not to look at it every 5 seconds)
- Start a Marriage & Mindfulness journal: This will help you to keep track of all the positive things you have to look forward to when it comes to the big day instead of just obsessively listing all the things that are not done yet. Put down the rigid timeline and remember the point of the day!
- Plan no-wedding talk nights: Find time to just focus on yourself and not discuss table numbers, seating charts, RSVPs, etc. It is important to have a life outside of planning the wedding
- Create a wellness plan: This plan will help you to manage your triggers, identify when an emotional crisis is happening & will help to remind you to delegate jobs to others
- Let go of perfectionism: The reality is that hardly anyone but you will understand all the little details. People will not understand how much effort you put into the big day so do what works for you & let go of managing all of the outcomes
- Plan for the inevitable adrenaline dump that will come after the big day: If you’re not immediately going on your honeymoon, plan some fun activities to do when you get home & also, let yourself relax and wind down.. you made it through!
If you struggle with compartmentalizing big events and would like to learn more about Marriage & Mindfulness (or any other big event), please contact STA and we will happy you live the best life possible. Please call today at 1-201-488-4849.