If only there was a specific step by step guide that could help you along the way in raising a child. Well, why not? There’s a manual for everything else out there, and if not, you could always look it up online, right?
Unfortunately, it’s not that simple. However, there are two key factors that have a major impact on building a healthy relationship with your children. The old expression, “Do as I say, not as I do”, no longer cuts it. A child will always do as you do. So, one of the simplest things you can do is be a model for them. Always live your life the way you want them to live theirs. This includes even when they’re not looking because kids always catch on to more than you’ll ever realize.
The second is to do what you can to foster a relationship that they will always feel comfortable going to you about anything. The benefit of this is that when your kids come across something that they haven’t seen you model yet, they know they can go to you so you can help them figure it out.
Now that might be a lot easier said than done. However, there are a few things you can do, within your control as a parent, to create this environment.
The Three R’s
This is where the three R’s come in: Regulate, Relate, and Reason. When your child is small they automatically come to you when they’re upset. So, they present you with this opportunity starting early on. This is when you can help regulate how they feel making them feel calm, safe, comforted and loved. Relating is then validating the way they feel by acknowledging that they’re upset or trying to do something very hard at that moment. Then you can move on to reasoning where you can use logic to redirect a specific behavior or show them another way of doing something.
Whether you’re a new parent or an old pro, sometimes we all can use a little help. Please call STA at (201) 488-6678, because it truly does take a village when it comes to raising a child.