Do you struggle with showing up for yourself when things get hard? Do you often say yes when you mean no to avoid confrontations? Do you need others to like you in order to feel whole? Sounds like you could use some work on being your own best friend! Being our own best friend means that no matter what else anyone says or does, we do not ever have to abandon ourselves. We do not have to change ourselves just so we can be approved of by someone else. I am willing to admit that being your own best friend sounds corny.. but being treated well has to start with us! How can we find a good support system if we do not treat ourselves the way we deserve to be treated?
First off, it’s important to take an inventory of your life in the basic areas; work, home life, physical activity, social activity, romantic life, etc. Make sure you are doing enough leisure activities and practicing a healthy work-life balance. Check out how often you put others’ needs before yourself. Ask yourself, “Do I depend on others to bring me joy?”. Being your own best friend involves being able to self soothe & really enjoy your own company because, in reality, someone else isn’t always going to be around to ‘cheer us up’.
I am not suggesting isolation or that you do not need others (you definitely do & empathy is key!) but it’s important to be able to have alone time & solitude to really get to know yourself & to feel comfortable in your own presence.
One of the first steps in being your own best friend is realizing areas where you need to improve, ie: Do I need to go to the gym more? Do I have friends who I consistently feel put more effort in than they do? Do I eat fast food all the time because I am too lazy or busy to cook at home? If you’ve answered yes, chances are.. you are not showing up for yourself and need to be kinder to yourself.
So, how can I be my own best friend?
- Talk to yourself the way you would a very dear friend! No more.. “You idiot, why’d you do that?!”
- Plan & cook healthy meals
- Exercise more regularly
- Plan fun leisure activities; movies, yoga, trivia nights
- Get more hours of sleep & try to avoid devices at bedtime
- Surround yourself with people who want the best for you
- Be more assertive with people who push your boundaries
If you’re struggling with not showing up for yourself & would like to work on being your own best friend, Please call Specialized Therapy Associates at 1-201-488-4849 and schedule a time to come in. We’d love to work with you!