Self-abandonment is a very common occurance. Recently, I heard someone say, “If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.” It made me think of how often people just ‘go with the flow’ without vocalizing their opinion or feelings about things in order to avoid confrontation. Certainly, there is time to be the bigger person and “pick your battles” or “live and let live”, but what happens when it never becomes your turn to have your voice be heard? Eventually, we forget we have a voice at all.
For anyone who can identify with this process of self-abandonment, the pain can be defined as emotional and spiritual bankruptcy. Slowly, You isolate yourself from the world. You become restless, irritable, and discontent. You stop feeling safe with yourself and you start sleeping walking through life, never thinking it will get any better because ‘this is all there is’.
But… One day when “enough is enough”, You decide this self-pity has to stop because you won’t feel better about yourself. You begin reading self-help books about empowerment and self-esteem and the journey of self-discovery begins! Sound familiar? Unfortunately, discovery is not recovery and when it came to putting in the work, that’s when the slacking began. As quickly as your interest in getting better came, it had faded because it was ‘too hard’, or some other excuse to return to the false comfort of familiar pain.
As a people pleaser, You are probably great at showing up for other people but when it comes to yourself, eh. There is always tomorrow. Right? WRONG!
Well… I’m here to tell you that, You don’t have to live like that anymore. Gone are the times when you have to say what other people want to hear and abandon yourself day after day by not speaking your truth. It is time to develop a personal bill of rights to figure out who you are and what you want.
Personal Bill of Rights:
1. Life should have choices beyond mere survival
2. You have a right to say “no” to anything when you feel you are not ready or it is unsafe
3. Life should not be motivated by fear
4. You have a right to all your feelings
5. You have a right to make mistakes
6. There is no need to smile when you cry
7. You have a right to terminate conversations with people who make you feel put down or humiliated
8. You can be healthier than those around you
9. It is okay to be relaxed & playful
10. You have the right to change and grow
11. It is important to set limits and be selfish with our recovery
12. You can be angry at someone you love
13. You can take care of yourself, no matter what circumstances you are in
If you are tired of dealing with self-abandonment on a daily basis, call Specialized Therapy Associates at 201-488-6678 today to speak with an intake specialist about your concerns.