Michele is having a very difficult time with her 8 year old daughter, Kimberly.
Kimberly talks back to her and rarely does what she is told even when she is being threatened with a punishment. Michele is so frustrated and doesn’t know what to do. Michele feels very competent and capable as a bank executive, but her 8 year old’s behavior is enough to bring to her tears.
Michele tries to reason with her daughter. At times, Kimberly will listen. Kimberly even apologizes for her behavior and doesn’t want her mother to feel frustrated with her. At school, Kimberly is the ideal student. She completes her work and she is never a behavior problem in the school setting.
Michele tries to do everything she can to improve her daughter’s behavior, such as reasoning with her. Sometimes Michele punishes her daughter but at other times, she will retract the punishment when her daughter is remorseful. She says she has a close relationship with her daughter and they both feel sad and upset when they have difficulties in their relationship.
Michele discusses her feelings with her life coach: “I have tried everything to get Kimmie to cooperate. Her behavior is such a drain on the family. Every time she doesn’t get her way, she throws a fit. She yells and nags. She refuses to cooperate if we’re going somewhere. I don’t understand it. She gets the best of everything and it doesn’t seem to faze her that we are doing so much for her. We take her everywhere she wants to go and the first time she can’t have something, it’s as if the world has ended. I am so exhausted that I just give in. When I was a child, I appreciated everything my parents gave me. We didn’t have much, but I could see how hard my parents worked to give me nice things.”
Dr. Vanessa Gourdine is a psychologist, executive and life coach and Director of Specialized Therapy Associates, LLC and Life Work Strategies, LLC. She can be reached at DrG@LWSCoach.com. She has a behavioral health column in BC Magazine and is a regular contributor to lifestyle publications. She has developed a coaching model based on using strategies to influence growth and change for successful living. She can be reached at 201-224-5200.