One of the primary things within our control that can be beneficial to our mood is our eating habits. It is understandable that people tend to try to change their mood via what they eat. For instance, if someone is feeling sluggish, they might eat something with a high level of sugar to increase their energy level. Unfortunately, food items high in sugar tend to only work in the short-term and often increase feelings of sluggishness in the long run. It is best to try to eat a wide variety of foods that are nutritionally balanced if we want our eating habits to be a positive influence on our mood. Furthermore, many of the precursors of neurotransmitters that impact mood (serotonin, norepinephrine) are found in simple proteins, so incorporating them into your diet will also provide long-term benefits to your emotional health.

Another important aspect of our lifestyle that we can change to improve our emotional health is physical exercise. Being that the human body was designed to be active; a lack of exercise can adversely impact one’s mood. Typically, 30 minutes of physical activity a day can decrease anxiety and increase feelings of calmness. Exercises such as walking, jogging, and aerobics would nurture the optimal changes in our heart rate that would provide emotional benefits.

Finally, the quality of our sleep is an important element of our emotional health. Our bodies need time to recuperate and it is recommended that adults get 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night. When we do not get adequate sleep, our tolerance for negative emotions depletes. Although, we can control what time we try to go to sleep and our nightly routines, it is sometimes hard to control the quality of our sleep. If you suffer from a medical condition such as sleep apnea, do yourself a favor and work with a medical professional to address this issue so that you can ensure quality sleep. Some things that are within our control that could positively impact the quality of our sleep would be: avoiding caffeine or other stimulants before bed, adjusting your sleep environment to allow for better relaxation, and going to bed at the same time every night.

Within the context of the DBT Skills Group provided at Specialized Therapy Associates, patients are encouraged to make lifestyle changes to reduce their susceptibility to negative emotions. As a means for achieving this goal, it is suggested that people explore their eating habits, sleeping patterns, and the amount of physical activity. Furthermore, incorporating these changes into your daily routine can be a valuable asset in the quality of your physical health as well as your mental health.

Should you have any interest in enrolling in our DBT Skills Group to combat Negative Emotions, please call our intake specialists today at 201-488-6678 for more information or to schedule an appointment.

The post Negative Emotions and Reducing Vulnerability to it first appeared on Specialized Therapy.

The post Negative Emotions and Reducing Vulnerability to it appeared first on Specialized Therapy.

All couples argue or have disagreements.  However, in order to understand the difference between a couple that has an unhealthy or dysfunctional relationship and one where abuse is involved, it’s important to take a look at the Power and Control Wheel.  As part of the “Duluth Model”, the wheel helps to illustrate the various forms of abuse that one partner commits against the other.  There are a couple of things to take note of: at the center of the wheel is power and control – the different pieces of the “pie” illustrate the different forms of abuse that one uses to exert power and control against the other.  Domestic violence is not a one-time incident, and sometimes never involves physical or sexual assault.  What helps to set domestic violence apart from other types of “bad” relationships is the pervasive pattern of abuse.

In addition to what the wheel illustrates is the Cycle of Violence.  Not all relationships follow the same pattern, but often there will be a tension building phase, where victims often describe walking on eggshells around the abuser.  This is followed by an explosion or incident, where physical, sexual, or other types of abuse have peaked.  After this occurs is usually the honeymoon phase.  You can expect a lot of apologizing, making promises to change, buying flowers or other grand gestures.  Sometimes, victims never experience the honeymoon phase, but the cycle continues.

If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, it’s important to know that you’re not alone.  Approximately 1 in 3 women have been physically assaulted by an intimate partner in their lifetime, and 1 in 4 have experienced domestic violence as a whole (National Coalition Against Domestic Violence).  Over 7 million children live in families where severe domestic violence occurs (Futures Without Violence).  There is help and you have resources available to you.

In Bergen County, the Center for Hope and Safety provides residential safe house services for women needing to leave an abusive relationship safely, as well as clinical services for children.  Alternatives to Domestic Violence provides community education/training, counseling and legal advocacy, as well as batterer intervention groups.  For victims who need support with parenting, the Nurtured Parent Support Group is another great resource.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness month.  Even if you believe you are not impacted by domestic violence, you can educate yourself, attend events such as the Clothesline Project, or make a donation to your local domestic violence program.  Or, you can just be supportive of someone experiencing this horrible behavior.

In the long-term, therapy can also be incredibly helpful in healing from trauma.  If you believe therapy could be beneficial in your journey, please call Specialized Therapy Associates so our intake specialists at 201-488-6678 to discuss options and meet with a trained therapist.

The post Domestic Violence first appeared on Specialized Therapy.

The post Domestic Violence appeared first on Specialized Therapy.

Halloween is around the corner! As kids all over the world are getting ready for trick or treating and picking out costumes. It is a good time to ask yourself, What is my favorite mask? A Minions one? Spiderman? A mask that will hide my authentic self from the world?

During childhood, the Halloween Masks we wore were all fun and games. They helped us to create a fantasy play life. In time, We mature and let go of our favorite scooby doo and boogie man masks, but.. what happens when we enter adulthood and have not outgrown our favorite masks? The ones we use to control how others perceive us. The ones we use to protect ourselves from the projection. Or maybe, the ones we use to hide addiction or to help us avoid looking at ourselves in the mirror.

Regardless of the reason for your favorite mask, Specialized Therapy Associates can help you not only remove the mask but also, help you to discover yourself again. Call our intake specialists today at 201-488-6678 to schedule an appointment and learn about our specialized programs.

“THE MASK I WEAR

Don’t be fooled by me.
Don’t be fooled by the face I wear
For I wear a mask. I wear a thousand masks-
masks that I’m afraid to take off
and none of them are me.
Pretending is an art that’s second nature to me
But don’t be fooled, for God’s sake, don’t be fooled.
I give you the impression that I’m secure
That all is sunny and unruffled with me
within as well as without,
that confidence is my name
and coolness my game,
that the water’s calm
and I’m in command,
and that I need no one.
But don’t believe me. Please!

My surface may be smooth but my surface is my mask,
My ever-varying and ever-concealing mask.
Beneath lies no smugness, no complacence.
Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, in aloneness.
But I hide this.
I don’t want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weaknesses
and fear exposing them.
That’s why I frantically create my masks to hide behind.

But I don’t tell you this.
I don’t dare.
I’m afraid to.
I’m afraid you’ll think less of me, that you’ll laugh
and your laugh would kill me.
I’m afraid that deep-down I’m nothing, that I’m just no good
and you will see this
and reject me.

I idly chatter to you in suave tones of surface talk.
I tell you everything that’s nothing
and nothing of what’s everything, of what’s crying within me.
So when I’m going through my routine
do not be fooled by what I’m saying
Please listen carefully and try to hear
what I’m not saying
Hear what I’d like to say
but what I can not say.

It will not be easy for you,
long felt inadequacies make my defenses strong.
The nearer you approach me
the blinder I may strike back.
Despite what books say of men, I am irrational;
I fight against the very thing that I cry out for.
you wonder who I am
you shouldn’t
for I am everyman
and everywoman
who wears a mask.
Don’t be fooled by me.
At least not by the face I wear.”
– Author unknown

The post What does my favorite mask hide? first appeared on Specialized Therapy.

The post What does my favorite mask hide? appeared first on Specialized Therapy.

Smarter kids were found to lie as often as less intelligent kids when there was no chance of being caught. On the other hand, when there is a chance of being caught in a lie, then smarter kids don’t lie as much as less intelligent kids, perhaps because they are better able to estimate the odds of detection. Because parents are the people kids initially model their behavior after, kids who lie the most often come from homes where their parents often lie and/or endorse breaking the rules.

At the age of three or four, children become capable of telling a deliberate lie. Children from age five to eight consider all lies to be wrong. Kids slowly become able to consider intent as a relevant variable in judging whether a given lie is wrong or not. By age ten, most children are able to lie to adults without being caught. By age eleven most kids demonstrate awareness of the harm to others caused by lying. As kids become older, they also become more skilled in detecting when they are being lied to. If kids see parents lying as a way to avoid conflict, they will copy that behavior. Adolescents turn toward their peer group for information about how to behave and so associating with peers who engage in antisocial behaviors, including lying, has been shown to predict that the adolescent will be at increased odds for getting into trouble themselves.

The experts have advice for parents on how to respond to their children’s lying. Increasing the threat of punishment for lying only makes children more aware of what it will cost them if they are caught lying. Kids who live with the threat of constant punishment lie more and become better liars at an early age. Because kids generally want to please their parents, it is necessary that parents tell their children that they will be pleased if they tell the truth as well as offering immunity for telling the truth. In addition, parents should avoid entrapping their kids where they put them in the position to lie. If a child winds up lying repeatedly because parents are testing their honesty, this lying decreases the guilt that usually accompanies a lie when it is first told.

Research has also found that lying tends to be associated with other indicators of maladjustment. If a parent finds out that their child’s lying has increased in frequency, then it is time to take notice. Hopefully, the lying can be resolved within the family. If this is not working, then perhaps consulting one of the therapists at STA who specialize in working with children’s problems would be the next step for a concerned parent to take.

Find the truth by calling our intake specialists today to learn more about kids and lying at 201-488-6678 to schedule an initial appointment.

The post Kids and Lying: How to find the Truth first appeared on Specialized Therapy.

The post Kids and Lying: How to find the Truth appeared first on Specialized Therapy.

Ice cream is unique in that it has to be just the right temperature in order to be fully enjoyed. If it’s too warm it becomes mushy soup and if it’s too cold it becomes completely frozen and inedible. Relationships are the same way.

We can start with the soupy ice cream metaphor. If you don’t have a strong sense of your own identity and don’t know your wants and needs in a relationship, it’s very easy to compromise so much of yourself that you become one with the other person and lose all sense of yourself. What happens then is when that person is no longer a part of your life so much of who you’ve now become leaves with them., and you’re left with a much harder time trying to pick up the pieces and reclaim yourself. This is similar to how if you put a cherry on top of soupy ice cream the two become one and so much of the ice cream leaves with the cherry if you were to dig it out.

Just the opposite can happen if your sense of self is too rigid and you aren’t flexible enough to allow someone into your life for whom you might have to make small compromises. This is similar to the ice cream being so frozen solid that the cherry would slide off and not connect in any way.

Instead, what you need is a perfect balance that is solid enough that the ice cream has the integrity to stand on its own, while still being soft enough to hold the cherry on top. This balance of independence and permeability allows you to accommodate the wants and needs the other person might have in the relationship, without having to compromise your own.

If you’re struggling with past or current relationships in your own life, please call Specialized Therapy Associates‘ intake specialists today at (201) 488-6678, to schedule an appointment so that your ice cream can be a healthier temperature.

The post Relationships and Melted Ice Cream first appeared on Specialized Therapy.

The post Relationships and Melted Ice Cream appeared first on Specialized Therapy.

Of all the research done on the healing power of laughter; none has failed to top the amazing story of Norman Cousins whose book “Anatomy of an Illness,” describes how he cured himself of a debilitating disease through the use of humor. His story began in 1964, where doctors found that the connective tissue in his spine was deteriorating; a condition is known as Ankylosing Spondylitis. The doctors speculated that his chance of survival was approximately 1 in 500. With knowledge of the healing aspects of humor, Cousins set out to make himself laugh on a frequent basis to assist in his treatment. He reportedly watched old Marx Brothers movies on a consistent basis to induce laughter. He found that he laughed so hard at these films that he was able to stimulate chemicals in his body that allowed him to have several hours of pain-free sleep. When the pain would return he would simply begin to watch a film again and the laughter would re-induce sleep. Furthermore, he was able to measure the changes in his body by assessing his blood sedimentation rate (a key measurement of inflammation and infection in the blood) and found that this rate dropped by at least 5 points after each viewing session. He believes his own laughter helped cure his disease and subsequently lived a long and healthy life — well into his 80’s.

Within the context of the DBT skills group provided at Specialized Therapy Associates, patients are encouraged to increase their pleasant activities as an aide to their emotional regulation. As a means for achieving this goal, it is suggested that people explore opportunities to laugh as often as is possible. Furthermore, incorporating laughter into your daily routine can be a valuable asset in achieving optimal mental health.

To learn more on our DBT Skills Program, The Healing Power of Laughter, or to schedule an appointment, please call our intake specialists today at 201-488-6678 or visit SpecializedTherapy.com.

The Benefits of Laughter

Physical Health Benefits

• Boosts immunity
• Lowers stress hormones
• Decreases pain
• Relaxes your muscles
• Prevents heart disease
• Mental Health Benefits
• Adds joy to life
• Eases anxiety and fear
• Relieves stress
• Improves mood
• Enhances resilience
• Social Benefits
• Strengthens relationships
• Facilitates connections to others
• Enhances teamwork
• Helps defuse conflict
• Promotes group bonding

The post The Healing Power of Laughter first appeared on Specialized Therapy.

The post The Healing Power of Laughter appeared first on Specialized Therapy.

Pediatricians note that children need 10-11 hours of sleep a night until they are about 10 years old. Adolescents need about 8-9 hours, but if they are going through a growth spurt or stresses with a heavy school schedule, they may need 1-2 more hours. Without the proper amount of sleep, focus and concentration can decrease, impacting grades and work performance and increasing irritability. The best way to help your child go to sleep is to establish a calm routine when they are young. Bedtime should be proceeded by a relaxing time which can include a warm bath, a short period of watching a favorite TV show or cartoon, a ritual of story, backrub and tuck in by mom or dad.

If your child is currently struggling with sleep. Do not let him get up and end up in your bed. Also, do not make a practice of falling asleep in her bed. In either case, your child will not learn their own good sleep practices. You can do several of the following:

• Allow a young child several small soft toys to play with in bed until they are tired and fall asleep.
• Keep bedtime the SAME TIME every school night and within 30-45 minutes later on weekends. Your body acclimates to sleep schedules.
• Take your child back to bed EVERY time she gets up in the middle of the night. You can rub her back for a few minutes but then go back to your own bed.
• Take cell phones away from teens. Many kids will spend all night on the phone or be woken briefly by the ping or vibration of incoming messages. This is a good practice for parents too!

Benjamin, at 8 was still sleeping in his parent’s room, although on a ‘bed’ made of blankets on the floor. He generally started the night in his own room, but he always ended up with mom and dad. With help, his parents began to move Ben’s blanket bed further out from their bed and into the hall. At that point, Ben decided he’d rather stay in bed and have mom or dad sit with him for 5 minutes. While his parents struggled to stay awake sitting by his bed at 3:00 a.m., it only lasted 2 ½ weeks. Finally Ben began to sleep through most nights. When he woke, he usually went to use the bathroom, sometimes would look into mom and dad’s room before he went back to his own bed and sleep. After struggling with sleep for 3 years, finally, everyone in the family could sleep.

Bedtimes don’t have to be a battle and there are more strategies to help improve what is known as ‘sleep hygiene’. Therapy can help with implementing effective sleeping routines for kids and parenting strategies for mom and dad.

Do you need a Willpower Workout to help you get through this school year? Need Help Beating Bedtime Battles? Call our intake specialists today and ask about our Willpower Workout Group and our other specialized therapy programs at 201-488-6678.

The post Beating Bedtime Battles: Help your kids sleep first appeared on Specialized Therapy.

The post Beating Bedtime Battles: Help your kids sleep appeared first on Specialized Therapy.

10 Quick Returning To School Tips For Parents and Kids

Summer is coming to a close and even if kids want to forget that school exists, you can’t miss all the ‘Back to School Sale’ signs in stores. There are several ways to ease the transition:

1. Talk to your child about going to school. Focus on the positives in returning to school, seeing friends, joining after-school clubs, or talking to their favorite teachers.

2. Plan ahead. Purchase school supplies now and plan for more than your child needs. It is inevitable that kids need another notebook for journaling in English class or a separate folder for spelling words.

3. If your child has a disability, review the IEP or school plan. It is helpful for the new teacher when parents develop a list of problems their child may have, how the school plans to address problems, and/or what has worked for teachers and parents in the past.

4. Get back on a regular school-based bedtime at least one week before school starts. It takes 1 – 2 weeks for sleep patterns to acclimate.

5. Cut back on excess television time now. Begin to move back to a structured daily schedule.

6. Make a quick review of the closets. Be sure to have a presentable pair of shoes, sneakers that fit for the gym, a raincoat, an umbrella that is not broken, etc.

7. If your child has after-school care, call to confirm schedules and pick up times. Go to visit for an afternoon if possible. This allows kids to meet any new children or just reconnect with caregivers.

8. Parents need to review work and activity schedules with each other and with other caregivers. Be sure everyone understands when kids are in activities and who is expected to do the drop-off and pick up.

9. Accept kids’ feelings if they are not happy about returning to school. Who really would rather give up a day at the beach for 6 hours of sitting at a desk doing work?

10. Do not be upset if parents are happy about children returning to school. Everyone deserves a quiet time after a busy summer.

Learn about our many specialized therapy programs and how they can assist you or your child  today by calling our intake specialists at 201-488-6678.

The post Returning to School – 10 Tips to Ease the Transition first appeared on Specialized Therapy.

The post Returning to School – 10 Tips to Ease the Transition appeared first on Specialized Therapy.

The Human Microbiome Project, run by the United States National Institutes for Health, has revealed that we depend on our microbes for health and happiness. Although the human genome is comprised of just fewer than 21,000 genes, the amount of genetic information in our gut is greatly increased by all of the genetic material of these bacteria. For example, although we lack the gene to make the protein that makes vitamin B12, a bacterial species called Klebsiella does it for us.

Thanks to antibiotics many infectious diseases were eradicated in the twentieth century, giving people across the world a longer life span. But now things have changed. Many of the diseases that now impair people’s health and quality of life are autoimmune diseases. Dr. Cole tells us that nearly 10% of the population in the developed world is now affected by an autoimmune disease. These include Type I diabetes, multiple sclerosis, celiac disease, irritable bowel syndrome, psoriasis, and enough others to total about one hundred autoimmune diseases. Dr. Cole explains that even mental health problems such as autism and depression may possibly be related to problems with our gut bacteria. She explains the physiology of leaky gut syndrome is caused by a protein whose discovered called zonulin that loosens the coupling between the cells of the intestinal wall and makes it permeable to what should not be passing through.

Calories in-calories out is what everyone thought was what mattered in weight control. However, Dr. Cole explains the role of our intestinal bacteria in extracting additional calories from what we have eaten. When short-chain fatty acids bind with G-protein-coupled Receptor 43 on our fiber-loving bacteria, it signals the bacteria not to attack us. When this same receptor on fat cells is bound with a short-chair fatty acid, it forces the fat cell to divide, the healthy way to store energy, rather than grow larger as it does in people who develop obesity. If these small bits of information, doesn’t make much sense to you, then you’ll have to read the book to get more information about these items and much more than the book has to offer.
If you want to go beyond the book and explore how these issues may be affecting you personally, then help is available through Dr. Gourdine and the Functional Medicine Center for Personalized Care in Hackensack, New Jersey. Dr. Gourdine will be able to guide you through the steps of getting your microbial flora assessed and then advising you to make changes with nutrition and nutraceuticals.

Call our intake specialists today for a FREE consultation and learn more about Microbiota and our Health at 855.MYFXMED (693.9633) !   

The post Microbiota and our Health first appeared on Specialized Therapy.

The post Microbiota and our Health appeared first on Specialized Therapy.

Self-abandonment is a very common occurance. Recently, I heard someone say, “If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.” It made me think of how often people just ‘go with the flow’ without vocalizing their opinion or feelings about things in order to avoid confrontation. Certainly, there is time to be the bigger person and “pick your battles” or “live and let live”, but what happens when it never becomes your turn to have your voice be heard? Eventually, we forget we have a voice at all.

For anyone who can identify with this process of self-abandonment, the pain can be defined as emotional and spiritual bankruptcy. Slowly, You isolate yourself from the world. You become restless, irritable, and discontent. You stop feeling safe with yourself and you start sleeping walking through life, never thinking it will get any better because ‘this is all there is’.

But… One day when “enough is enough”, You decide this self-pity has to stop because you won’t feel better about yourself. You begin reading self-help books about empowerment and self-esteem and the journey of self-discovery begins! Sound familiar? Unfortunately, discovery is not recovery and when it came to putting in the work, that’s when the slacking began. As quickly as your interest in getting better came, it had faded because it was ‘too hard’, or some other excuse to return to the false comfort of familiar pain.

As a people pleaser, You are probably great at showing up for other people but when it comes to yourself, eh. There is always tomorrow. Right? WRONG!

Well… I’m here to tell you that, You don’t have to live like that anymore. Gone are the times when you have to say what other people want to hear and abandon yourself day after day by not speaking your truth. It is time to develop a personal bill of rights to figure out who you are and what you want.

Personal Bill of Rights:
1. Life should have choices beyond mere survival
2. You have a right to say “no” to anything when you feel you are not ready or it is unsafe
3. Life should not be motivated by fear
4. You have a right to all your feelings
5. You have a right to make mistakes
6. There is no need to smile when you cry
7. You have a right to terminate conversations with people who make you feel put down or humiliated
8. You can be healthier than those around you
9. It is okay to be relaxed & playful
10. You have the right to change and grow
11. It is important to set limits and be selfish with our recovery
12. You can be angry at someone you love
13. You can take care of yourself, no matter what circumstances you are in

If you are tired of dealing with self-abandonment on a daily basis, call Specialized Therapy Associates at 201-488-6678 today to speak with an intake specialist about your concerns.

The post Self-abandonment: Where did my voice go? first appeared on Specialized Therapy.

The post Self-abandonment: Where did my voice go? appeared first on Specialized Therapy.