When asked, Most individuals find themselves locked in the ‘mad, sad, glad’ triad and really struggle to identify and feel many other feelings. Take a moment now & think to yourself, What am I feeling? When was the last time you really sat to think about how you were feeling & how those feelings occurred in your body.

See the feelings wheel: The Emotion Wheel: What It Is and How to Use It (positivepsychology.com)

The Tao of Fully Feeling incorporates reclaiming our feelings by focusing on ourselves & what we have control over. It also allows us to center ourselves in the fullness & richness of our feelings without numbing. It can often be a long journey back to our own feelings but the value is tremendous. We can help guide you here at STA. There are many things that block our ability to feel; being too busy, substances, over eating, compulsively worrying about others problems, etc.. Sound familiar?

We often get stuck in ‘fight or flight’ instead of living in a fully mindful place. We get trapped in blame and the hustle & bustle of keeping up with everyone else instead of taking time to fall into mindfulness practices such as yoga, meditation, journaling, recovery meetings, walking in nature. When we are not able to sit fully in our feelings, We are also unable to set boundaries, communicate our truth to others and also to fully live in the vessel of our bodies.

If you’d like to read more, please find the attached article: Pete Walker, M.A. Psychotherapy (pete-walker.com)

If you or someone you know is looking to learn about feeling more fully, please reach out today. We have many individual & group therapists and we look forward to helping you!

The post What is the “Tao of Fully feeling”? first appeared on Specialized Therapy.

The post What is the “Tao of Fully feeling”? appeared first on Specialized Therapy.

Most people grace my doorstep to attend their first few therapy sessions would describe their life in 1 of three ways:

A) Boring and don’t know how to get the vibrancy back  (Rut)

B) Chaotic and don’t know how to get back on track (Relapse Mode)

C) Nice, full life but unable to internalize and be grateful for it, which leaves them feeling shame.

Often clients describe not living in alignment with their values or feeling as though their life is not goal oriented enough as well. Well, that is where Specialized Therapy comes in. In addition to therapy, We also have a variety of ancillary services; functioning medicine, health coaching, acupuncture, yoga, nutrition counseling, etc.

At STA & FX Med, We help you to develop a vibrant and full life by full evaluating you a person; mind, body and spirit. We assess your social supports, your full life style, sleeping, eating, exercise patterns, previous trauma, hobbies, etc. We help you to identify your thought patterns, dysfunctional/maladaptive behaviors and things that are simply getting in the way of your success and happiness.  Gone are the days of just giving our medication & cookie cutter therapy, We are here to be on the cutting edge to provide a full array of services under one roof. We want you to get back to the person who is fully healthy & proud to look themselves in the mirror.

If you or someone you know is struggling with creating a vibrant and full life, please reach out today. We look forward to helping you!

The post Creating a vibrant and full life first appeared on Specialized Therapy.

The post Creating a vibrant and full life appeared first on Specialized Therapy.

Well.. I’m here to tell you that if you don’t take care of yourself, things will only get harder and more difficult. The process is essential to our overall wellbeing and the overall wellbeing of our relationships, work, etc. Though it is helpful anytime, Self care works much better when it is proactive rather than reactive. The 45 minute therapy session each week is great start but it is equally important to make sure you are follow through on the changes in your daily life in the other 23 hours out of the day.

How to make time for self care:

1. Prioritize yourself & set a schedule
2. Start with smaller increments of time 10-15 minutes
3. Start with smaller, more managable goals
4. Pick friends who will help hold you accountable
5. Journal/track changes

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health and wondering how to take care of oneself properly, please reach out today. We look forward to helping you!

Make an appointment: https://www.specializedtherapy.com/make-an-appointment/

The post Self care is… first appeared on Specialized Therapy.

The post Self care is… appeared first on Specialized Therapy.

“How can I support my loved one’s recovery?” is a question often asked by many people. Do you or someone you know have a partner or loved one who recently received help for their struggle with substance use? That’s fantastic! However, that is only the first step in the process. Many people think when someone enters a treatment center, whether that be Detox, Rehab, IOP, or Outpatient that eventually their addiction will be ‘cured’, not realizing the lifelong effects of Addiction and subsequent recovery. Much like other ‘diseases’, Addiction is progressive & can be fatal if it is not treated and monitored. It impacts the person emotionally, physically, psychologically & mentally, and socially, so much so that it is often described as a ‘family disease’. In addition to the significant amount of work the substance user will have to put in to get & maintain sobriety, The ‘family disease’ implies that it affects everyone & their quality of life, requiring support & changes on the part of everyone in relation to the substance user.

Family members often find this frustrating because they have already been put out & impacted by their loved one’s using and now they have to make changes too?! Although it seems unfair, it is true if they want their partner & or loved one’s to have the best chance of prolonged abstinence. So, where are the family members supposed to begin? This brings me to the main question people ask, “How can I support my loved one’s recovery?”

Here are some ways to provide support: 

1. Learn about the disease of addiction, trauma, etc. There is a lot of ‘quit lit‘ (books, websites, youtube videos, etc)
2. Support their attendance at meetings & therapy and the time commitment they will have to make to their recovery process 
3. Consider attending your own support group (Alanon, Naranon, CODA) & therapy to process your own emotions associated with their recovery and to learn about codependency/enabling patterns
4. Inquire about their boundaries in social situations, ie: How do they feel about you drinking? Are they telling people about their recovery?
5. Discuss accountability & how you two will manage relapses if they happen
6. Ask how they want to celebrate recovery anniversaries & if they would like you to participate
7. Understand it is a lifelong process & that they will have cravings and triggers

If you’ve identified with anything you’ve read in this blog & would like additional support, please reach out for help today at 1-201-488-6678 or visiting specializedtherapy.com. We look forward to hearing from you! 

The post How can I support my loved one’s recovery? first appeared on Specialized Therapy.

The post How can I support my loved one’s recovery? appeared first on Specialized Therapy.

Due to the COVID pandemic, A lot of us are still working from home. This has both positive and negative attributes. Current clients report that it’s nice to reduce the commute time and the stress of traffic while others report that they miss the down-regulation & alone time to separate work from home life.  Some like being able to dress down more often while others struggle with being motivated without having the dress code and structure of a work setting. Lastly, many reports that it’s nice to not have the pressure to interact all day while others found work to be one of their primary forms of connection which they miss.  Needless to say, it’s a mixed experience for most individuals. Take a moment now to think about your work/life balance is affecting you. As a society, it’s clear We are struggling with finding the balance in this ‘new normal’, which leads me to one of the most important therapeutic questions in regards to this topic, Are we working from home or living at work?

This lack of boundaries between home & work is causing people to experience loss of identity, a significant increase in the amount of hours worked and loss of work/life balance, and significant amounts of anxiety & stress in addition to the multitude of other stressors we already experience on a daily basis.

So, What’s the first step towards healing? 

Fear & Anxiety are inevitable in times of crisis, as they naturally respond in a trauma situation (which a pandemic qualifies as trauma), however, now We are in collective grief. All parallel processing & struggle simultaneously. We also live in a time where overdoing is viewed as a status symbol & how busy we are is something we humble brag about.. but it’s important to remember. It’s not a contest and that our journey is ours.

The first is to recognize what your body is trying to tell you and listening to the stress & anxiety cues. Stress is our body’s way of responding to any sort of external threat of danger (whether real or imagined), which most of us would call the fight or flight response, and generally alleviates after the ‘stressors’ have passed. Anxiety, however, is our internal reaction to feeling ‘stressed’, which for most people starts with Anticipatory Anxiety; Anxious about being Anxious. It’s a pervasive feeling of not being safe emotionally & manifests in physical symptoms. Stress, however, is often categorized by Loneliness, Insecurity, Loss of Concentration & Memory, worried & panicked thinking, restless/keyed up and edgy, avoiding others, fatigue & difficulty sleeping, eating issues- over or under eating, teary/mood swings, obsessiveness with working & routine, compulsive behaviors/overdoing it, fear of silence/the quiet.

What can I do about my stressors relating to the work, COVID, Childcare situation and ultimately find balance? 

1. 1. Focus on what you can control
   2. Let go of comparing your COVID experience to others (‘Living their best life’, etc), although we may not have all caught COVID physically, we almost all caught it emotionally & it’s very challenging to carry the weight of collective grief around.
   3. Reduce catastrophizing & focus on what you can control and Stay in the moment
   4. ‘Thought Stopping’ by identifying irrational thinking
   5. Tolerating Distress & Ambiguity through Radical Acceptance

How can I take better care of myself during this time? 

Establish a self-care plan:

1. 1. Assess current ‘coping skills’ you’re using (ie: overeating, drinking, isolation, phone, etc.
      1. Community—essential to have a strong support system
      2. Eating
      3. Sleeping
      4. Exercising?
   2. Starting the day off right with a strong morning routine and following that throughout the day:
      1. Meditating (Visualizing things going well & you handling the day with ease), Reading, Journaling, Exercising, Praying—- Limiting social media & TV
      2. Midday mantras (“I will not scare myself by repetitively examining details over and over”), eating healthy and a wind-down routine at night time that is nourishing & not just binge renewing

If you or someone you know is struggling with the boundaries regarding living at work vs. working from home and is experiencing stress & anxiety as a result, please reach out to us today or visit our website or call 201-488-6678. We look forward to working with you!

The post Working from home or Living at work? first appeared on Specialized Therapy.

The post Working from home or Living at work? appeared first on Specialized Therapy.

Both the American Psychological Association and ABC News segments alike are all exploring grief in the age of social distancing and the unique challenges it presents in terms of losing a loved one during COVID-19. We hear about how this is affecting physicians & nurses and how awful it is for people to have to die alone, not surrounded by their loved ones & how many have to say goodbye to their loved ones over Face Time. What about those of you who have to grieve while also maintaining social distance and thus, not have a memorial in a timely manner? 

Support You Need

That’s where Specialized Therapy Associates (STA) comes in. Times like these require extra support & resources to help you keep your head above the water. STA can help you to navigate the early winding roads of grief and provide that extra listening ear that you need to process and make meaning of this recent loss. We can help you to not feel so alone, validate your thoughts & feelings, and encourage you to share, while others in your life grieve alongside you. 

If you or someone you know has lost someone during the COVID-19 pandemic (whether to COVID or not) and are struggling to grieve & find closure, please reach out to STA today by calling 201-488-6678. We look forward to working with you & providing you support during this difficult time. 

The post Losing a Loved One During COVID-19 first appeared on Specialized Therapy.

The post Losing a Loved One During COVID-19 appeared first on Specialized Therapy.

We all know we have them but.. Do we really sit down and list them? Do we figure out an action plan on how to work on them? And even if we do, Do we stick with it without the accountability of a therapist? And lastly, Do we actually explore how our demons are preventing us from being in the present moment?

“Demons” do not always have to fall into what most people consider ‘negative’ qualities, like perhaps overindulging (eating, alcohol, gambling), being judgmental or jealous. They are just things that distract us from enjoying our lives fully. In fact, a lot of the time our ‘demons’ can be sneaky irrational thinking (that we usually don’t like to admit to anyone) such as..

1. An inability to internalize praise
2. Constantly doubting ourselves and our worth.
3. Thinking no one likes us and obsessing about our every move
4. Nervous thinking/imposter syndrome
5. People pleasing/codependency

A lot of individual’s struggle with a ‘perfect’ combination of ‘demons’ that leave them so consumed by what they need to do to be approved of by others that they do not learn how to approve of ourselves and are thus, unable to live in today.

If you find yourself struggling with being in the moment due to your ‘demons’ and would like some help finding your own intrinsic joy, Please reach out to Specialized Therapy Associates  and Fx Med Center today at 1-201-488-6678 and schedule an appointment today. We look forward to meeting you!

The post Are you ‘demons’ preventing you from being in the present moment? first appeared on Specialized Therapy.

The post Are you ‘demons’ preventing you from being in the present moment? appeared first on Specialized Therapy.

So many of us “escape into responsibility” instead of doing the necessary self-care and taking mental health days when we need them. But.. why is that? Most of us do not know it’s allowed to take a day to focus on ourselves and that we don’t have to wait until we feel burned out to do it.

That brings us to our next point… What is self-care? Well, that’s a great question and that answer evades most of us. Is it eating that piece of chocolate cake & wearing a face mask? Getting that massage? Reaching out to trusted friends to vent? Yes, ALL OF THAT but its also more than that. It’s about creating a life you don’t routinely need to escape from. It’s really more about taking regular breaks in our busy lives, showing up for yourself by eating healthy, exercising, setting boundaries with difficult people, doing things that make your heart sing and accepting that you are not going to everything on the dreaded ‘to-do’ list done.

Taking Time for Ourselves

In the book, “The Joy of Burn Out“, Glouberman, discusses how when we do not take time for ourselves (ie: Mental Health Days) and become overly invested in work, we lose our joy. She goes on to explain that one day we are feeling happy & fulfilled, overworking & career-driven and the next moment, we ask ourselves.. “Where did my joy go?” as we stumble through life on a scavenger hunt with no map. She continues on to say that if we do not surrender now & take breaks when necessary, we will pay the price later.. which may be what lead you to read this blog today.

If you are wondering to yourself, “Where did my joy go?” and/or are struggling with taking care of yourself, please reach out to Specialized Therapy Associates today at 201-488-6678 & we would be happy to help you find your way back to yourself.

The post Taking Care of Ourselves first appeared on Specialized Therapy.

The post Taking Care of Ourselves appeared first on Specialized Therapy.

Here is a Rundown

A) We spend a large portion of our day obsessing about how to keep up with others and get validation through achievements (Hence the hustling for worthiness).
B) This becomes overwhelming so we check out/numb our feelings with (food, social media, video games, alcohol, sex, etc).
C) We realize we are doing this & fall into self-pity and shame.
D) We come to our senses and immediately start to rush around again to make up for ‘lost time’ or try to catch up to others on this imaginary scoreboard because everything feels like an emergency (that no one else is competing on– but they were, we would be losing!).

Rinse, Wash, Repeat

The Self Imposed Rush is also categorized by feelings of being frazzled & frantic even though WE are the ones dictating the timeline. That sounds self-sabotaging & chaotic, right? So, if we know this, why do we do it? Well, unfortunately, our culture celebrates and encourages workaholism which makes those to take time for themselves & those who have a slower-paced life seem lazy and productive. Some of us have also become negatively addicted to chaos and emergency thinking and anything that isn’t a million miles an hour feels boring/lacking purpose.

So who is the most susceptible to the self-imposed rush?
Two main kinds of people: 1) People Pleasers; Those who struggle with setting efficient boundaries & say NO when their plate is overloaded and 2) Those who struggle with time management and cannot prioritize high demand tasks vs. things that can be done anytime. Does either of these sound like you?

When we are engaging in this behavior, we often feel powerless to stop it. This is where therapy comes in. If you need help creating a more manageable life or being more mindful on a daily basis instead of falling into the Self Imposed Rush, please call 201-488-6678 or visit Specialized Therapy 

The post The Self Imposed Rush first appeared on Specialized Therapy.

The post The Self Imposed Rush appeared first on Specialized Therapy.

The 3 P’s

Martin Seligman, as cited in Sheryl Sandberg’s book, explains the 3 P’s that stunt healing as we process trauma & difficult life events. The 3 P’s stand for Permeance, Pervasiveness & Personalization. Permeance is the belief that this event will last forever. Personalization is the belief that we are at fault and Pervasiveness is the belief that this negative event will affect all areas of our lives.

Seligman goes on to explain that we cultivate the resilience we need to heal throughout our lives. Some people are psychologically more fragile, while others are born with a more innate ability to handle difficult events. That said, Seligman believes that we can develop resilience based on we surround ourselves with & the choices we make. He further elaborates that we need to get rid of “always” and “never” in our vocabulary of healing, ie: “I will always feel this awful” to “I will feel this awful sometimes”, especially if we hope to address “Permeance” (one of the 3 Ps).

Both Seligman & Sandberg discuss how difficult it is for people to process grief & change especially when people are so wary of ‘holding space’– They call these “non-question asking friends”, which is why therapy & group services are so important for people. They create an environment for healing which we would not have otherwise had.

If you or someone you know is struggling with letting go & needs some help navigating the 3 P’s and wants to live their best Option B, please call Specialized Therapy Associates today at 201-488-6678.

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