“How can I support my loved one’s recovery?” is a question often asked by many people. Do you or someone you know have a partner or loved one who recently received help for their struggle with substance use? That’s fantastic! However, that is only the first step in the process. Many people think when someone enters a treatment center, whether that be Detox, Rehab, IOP, or Outpatient that eventually their addiction will be ‘cured’, not realizing the lifelong effects of Addiction and subsequent recovery. Much like other ‘diseases’, Addiction is progressive & can be fatal if it is not treated and monitored. It impacts the person emotionally, physically, psychologically & mentally, and socially, so much so that it is often described as a ‘family disease’. In addition to the significant amount of work the substance user will have to put in to get & maintain sobriety, The ‘family disease’ implies that it affects everyone & their quality of life, requiring support & changes on the part of everyone in relation to the substance user.

Family members often find this frustrating because they have already been put out & impacted by their loved one’s using and now they have to make changes too?! Although it seems unfair, it is true if they want their partner & or loved one’s to have the best chance of prolonged abstinence. So, where are the family members supposed to begin? This brings me to the main question people ask, “How can I support my loved one’s recovery?”

Here are some ways to provide support: 

1. Learn about the disease of addiction, trauma, etc. There is a lot of ‘quit lit‘ (books, websites, youtube videos, etc)
2. Support their attendance at meetings & therapy and the time commitment they will have to make to their recovery process 
3. Consider attending your own support group (Alanon, Naranon, CODA) & therapy to process your own emotions associated with their recovery and to learn about codependency/enabling patterns
4. Inquire about their boundaries in social situations, ie: How do they feel about you drinking? Are they telling people about their recovery?
5. Discuss accountability & how you two will manage relapses if they happen
6. Ask how they want to celebrate recovery anniversaries & if they would like you to participate
7. Understand it is a lifelong process & that they will have cravings and triggers

If you’ve identified with anything you’ve read in this blog & would like additional support, please reach out for help today at 1-201-488-6678 or visiting specializedtherapy.com. We look forward to hearing from you! 

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The post How can I support my loved one’s recovery? appeared first on Specialized Therapy.

This week is National Eating Disorder Awareness Week! Did you know that eating disorders are among the deadliest mental illnesses second only to opioid overdose? 10,200 deaths each year are the direct result of an eating disorder (1).

Some common myths surrounding eating disorders are:

1. “People who have eating disorders must be underweight”. Eating disorders look different for everybody and present themselves in many different ways. Less than 6% of people with eating disorders are actually diagnosed as being underweight (2). Just because someone doesn’t look physically sick, doesn’t mean they aren’t suffering.
2. “Only women can have eating disorders”. Men can have eating disorders, too, and the number of cases has increased in recent years. From 1999 to 2009 the number of men hospitalized for eating disorder-related causes increased by 53% (4). Males account for 25% of individuals with anorexia or bulimia eating disorders. Gay men represent almost half of men with eating disorders and are more likely to fast, vomit, or take laxatives or diet pills to control their weight (5).
3. “Eating disorders are a choice”. Eating disorders are serious mental illnesses, not lifestyle choices.

Click here to fill out our Eating Disorder Self-Assessment checklist.

If you feel like you or someone you know is suffering from an eating disorder, we are here to help! Our staff offers a unique holistic and integrative approach to eating disorder treatment using psychological therapy and a functional medicine approach to regain health.

Call 201-448-6678 to make an appointment or click here to enter your information and learn more about how our team can help!

By Taylor Groff, MS Functional Nutritionist

References:

1. Deloitte Access Economics. The Social and Economic Cost of Eating Disorders in the United States of America: A Report for the Strategic Training Initiative for the Prevention of Eating Disorders and the Academy for Eating Disorders.June 2020. Available at: https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/striped/report-economic-costs-of-eating-disorders/.
2. Arcelus, Jon et al. “Mortality rates in patients with anorexia nervosa and other eating disorders. A meta-analysis of 36 studies.” Archives of general psychiatry68,7 (2011): 724-31. https://doi.org/10.1001/archgenpsychiatry.2011.74
3. Zhao, Y., Encinosa, W. Update on Hospitalizations for Eating Disorders, 1999 to 2009. HCUP Statistical Brief #120. September 2011. Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality, Rockville, MD. http://www.hcup-us.ahrq.gov/reports/statbriefs/sb120.pdf
4. Hudson, J., Hiripi, E., Pope, H., & Kessler, R. (2007) “The prevalence and correlates of eating disorders in the national comorbidity survey replication.” Biological Psychiatry, 61, 348–358.
5. Eating Disorders in LGBTQ+ Populations. (2018, February 21). Retrieved February 22, 2021, from https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/learn/general-information/lgbtq

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Sobriety is an ongoing process that requires a daily commitment to recovery goals. Those in recovery know that it is essential to have a strong support system to maintain sobriety. This is especially true for those who are in early recovery. Other factors that help individuals in recovery include having daily structure and positive routines. Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, and subsequent quarantine, social connections, and daily routines have been interrupted. When daily structure changes and there are increases in stress and anxiety, there are higher risks for relapse. Here are some tips to help you succeed in your sobriety during this challenging time.

Tips for Sobriety

(1) Utilize online recovery resources. Although in-person support groups and 12-step meetings have been put on hold, there are a variety of online resources, including:

1. 1. Alcoholics Anonymous
   2. Narcotics Anonymous 
   3. SMART Recovery
   4. In The Rooms: Global Recovery Community
   5. Recovery Dharma

(2) Stay connected with your support network. Choose a time every day to check-in with your sponsor, sober support, or a supportive friend or family member. Connecting with someone who supports you, even if only for a few minutes, can help you feel connected with others. Even if you are struggling and you don’t want to share that with a friend or family member, reach out anyway. Having a sense of connection is very beneficial, and talking with someone else (about anything at all) provides a positive distraction and a way to reduce urges or thoughts to use substances.

(3) Develop daily routines and have a sense of structure. Make a list of 2 or 3 goals for yourself each day. Then, make a list of 3 or 4 tasks that will help you accomplish each goal. Next, assign a time to each task during the day. Having a plan for the day will help you remain focused and feel productive. Don’t forget to incorporate enjoyable hobbies into your daily schedule as well, such as taking a walk, playing with a pet, dancing in your living room, or watching a favorite TV show.

(4) Practice Mindfulness. This involves focusing on one thing at a time, or one day at a time. Bring your awareness into the here-and-now. There are several free mindfulness and guided meditation apps that you can search for in your app store.

• Use your senses to focus on the present. Look around you and identify three objects and what color they are. Name one thing you can see, hear, touch, smell, and taste. Dig your heels into the floor and think about how that feels in your body.
• Focus on your breath. Breathe in while counting to 4, and take a slow breath out while counting to 6 or 8.
• Engage in a Progressive Muscle Relaxation exercise.

Getting Help

(5) Seek additional help and support from a professional during this time.

If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse and maintaining sobriety, reach out for help with a professional. You don’t have to go through it alone. Specialized Therapy Associates is currently providing telehealth services including sessions that can be held over the phone or through confidential video conference sessions. We can work with you to make sure you can work with a professional who best meets your needs. Please contact our intake office for scheduling and more information at (201)-488-6678. We look forward to helping you today.

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So many of us “escape into responsibility” instead of doing the necessary self-care and taking mental health days when we need them. But.. why is that? Most of us do not know it’s allowed to take a day to focus on ourselves and that we don’t have to wait until we feel burned out to do it.

That brings us to our next point… What is self-care? Well, that’s a great question and that answer evades most of us. Is it eating that piece of chocolate cake & wearing a face mask? Getting that massage? Reaching out to trusted friends to vent? Yes, ALL OF THAT but its also more than that. It’s about creating a life you don’t routinely need to escape from. It’s really more about taking regular breaks in our busy lives, showing up for yourself by eating healthy, exercising, setting boundaries with difficult people, doing things that make your heart sing and accepting that you are not going to everything on the dreaded ‘to-do’ list done.

Taking Time for Ourselves

In the book, “The Joy of Burn Out“, Glouberman, discusses how when we do not take time for ourselves (ie: Mental Health Days) and become overly invested in work, we lose our joy. She goes on to explain that one day we are feeling happy & fulfilled, overworking & career-driven and the next moment, we ask ourselves.. “Where did my joy go?” as we stumble through life on a scavenger hunt with no map. She continues on to say that if we do not surrender now & take breaks when necessary, we will pay the price later.. which may be what lead you to read this blog today.

If you are wondering to yourself, “Where did my joy go?” and/or are struggling with taking care of yourself, please reach out to Specialized Therapy Associates today at 201-488-6678 & we would be happy to help you find your way back to yourself.

The post Taking Care of Ourselves first appeared on Specialized Therapy.

The post Taking Care of Ourselves appeared first on Specialized Therapy.

Staying sober can be especially difficult around the holiday season when there are so many events and parties. These kinds of situations can cause stress, triggering thoughts or urges to use substances. Sobriety becomes even more challenging when drugs or alcohol are present at these events. Getting through the holiday season may seem daunting, but here are some tips to celebrate yourself in recovery this holiday season.

Tips for being Sober during the Holiday Season

• Make healthy choices about the events you choose to attend. If you know that a particular party or gathering will be centered around drinking or substances, choose not to go. Attend an event instead that’s more centered around sober activities with friends and family.
• When attending a party or event, ask the host if they can provide non-alcoholic beverages. If you feel uncomfortable asking about it, it’s alright to bring your own non-alcoholic beverages like seltzers or sodas. Having a safe beverage to sip on can help you feel less excluded.
• Avoid being the designated driver! While this may seem helpful, it can cause you to feel stuck at a party waiting for a friend when you’re ready to leave. If you do agree to drive, let friends know in advance that you may need to leave. If they’re not ready to go, they will need to find alternate ways to get home such as public transport or car services.
• Bring a sober friend or support to holiday events that may be triggering for you. If you have a sponsor, let them know in advance about the event you’re attending so you can call him or her if you need support.
• Have an escape plan. When you attend a gathering, become aware of where exits are in case you need to step away for a break. You can also go into a bathroom to take space to breathe or splash some water on your face to cool down.
• Commit yourself to abstinence. If you have one celebratory drink, like a glass of champagne, this can lower your inhibitions and your perception. This will make it more difficult to control substance use behaviors afterward.

Take on a New Perspective

Focus on celebrating yourself and your recovery during the holiday season. It’s a special time to take pride in yourself and your accomplishments. Challenge yourself to think more about what you’re gaining when you’re sober rather than what you feel you’re giving up. When you’re not drinking or drugging, you’re more present and engaged in activities with your spouse, your friends, and your family. You will maintain more positive memories during this time when you are sober.

For information on therapy and counseling for substance abuse and recovery, contact Specialized Therapy Associates at (201)-488-6678, or visit us online at Specialized Therapy Associates.

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The post Sobriety and the Holidays: Tips for the Season appeared first on Specialized Therapy.

Here is a Rundown

A) We spend a large portion of our day obsessing about how to keep up with others and get validation through achievements (Hence the hustling for worthiness).
B) This becomes overwhelming so we check out/numb our feelings with (food, social media, video games, alcohol, sex, etc).
C) We realize we are doing this & fall into self-pity and shame.
D) We come to our senses and immediately start to rush around again to make up for ‘lost time’ or try to catch up to others on this imaginary scoreboard because everything feels like an emergency (that no one else is competing on– but they were, we would be losing!).

Rinse, Wash, Repeat

The Self Imposed Rush is also categorized by feelings of being frazzled & frantic even though WE are the ones dictating the timeline. That sounds self-sabotaging & chaotic, right? So, if we know this, why do we do it? Well, unfortunately, our culture celebrates and encourages workaholism which makes those to take time for themselves & those who have a slower-paced life seem lazy and productive. Some of us have also become negatively addicted to chaos and emergency thinking and anything that isn’t a million miles an hour feels boring/lacking purpose.

So who is the most susceptible to the self-imposed rush?
Two main kinds of people: 1) People Pleasers; Those who struggle with setting efficient boundaries & say NO when their plate is overloaded and 2) Those who struggle with time management and cannot prioritize high demand tasks vs. things that can be done anytime. Does either of these sound like you?

When we are engaging in this behavior, we often feel powerless to stop it. This is where therapy comes in. If you need help creating a more manageable life or being more mindful on a daily basis instead of falling into the Self Imposed Rush, please call 201-488-6678 or visit Specialized Therapy 

The post The Self Imposed Rush first appeared on Specialized Therapy.

The post The Self Imposed Rush appeared first on Specialized Therapy.

Addiction can result from and bring forth emotions and thoughts that are difficult to deal with. These emotions can drive an addict to behave in ways they later regret. It can be challenging to figure out how to act in opposite ways that have more positive outcomes. A question I often ask my own clients is: “Are your behaviors getting you to where you want to go?” If the answer is ‘no’ and it’s time to work on changing behaviors, then it’s helpful to get an idea of what your values are. Knowing what is most important or worthwhile for you will help keep you on track and guide your decision making in recovery.

You may be asking yourself, ‘How do I uncover my own values?’ The disease of addiction can cause a person to put aside or ignore values such as honesty or loyalty. You may have lied about your substance use many times to your family members or spouse for example. That doesn’t mean you don’t value these things! It means you are reconnecting with yourself and taking steps towards the life you want to live.

Value Categories

Consider value categories to help kickstart uncovering your own values. These categories include family, friendships, romance or intimacy, education, work (work ethic), honesty, respect, loyalty, health, community, faith, and sobriety. For each category, ask yourself what this means for you and come up with specific examples of each value’s meaning. Make a list of each value and each example. Take a moment to come up with examples of times you have acted on these values in the past, before your addiction. Use these examples as proof that you can act on these values again! Explore what kinds of changes you can make in your life now to respect your values. Identify values involved in any kind of choice you want to make and what behaviors could go along with those values.

For More Information

Specialized Therapy Associates provides a wide range of addiction recovery services for adolescents and adults. If you would like to find out more, please call the intake department at 201-488-6678, or specializedtherapy.com

The post Values and Success in Recovery first appeared on Specialized Therapy.

The post Values and Success in Recovery appeared first on Specialized Therapy.

The 3 P’s

Martin Seligman, as cited in Sheryl Sandberg’s book, explains the 3 P’s that stunt healing as we process trauma & difficult life events. The 3 P’s stand for Permeance, Pervasiveness & Personalization. Permeance is the belief that this event will last forever. Personalization is the belief that we are at fault and Pervasiveness is the belief that this negative event will affect all areas of our lives.

Seligman goes on to explain that we cultivate the resilience we need to heal throughout our lives. Some people are psychologically more fragile, while others are born with a more innate ability to handle difficult events. That said, Seligman believes that we can develop resilience based on we surround ourselves with & the choices we make. He further elaborates that we need to get rid of “always” and “never” in our vocabulary of healing, ie: “I will always feel this awful” to “I will feel this awful sometimes”, especially if we hope to address “Permeance” (one of the 3 Ps).

Both Seligman & Sandberg discuss how difficult it is for people to process grief & change especially when people are so wary of ‘holding space’– They call these “non-question asking friends”, which is why therapy & group services are so important for people. They create an environment for healing which we would not have otherwise had.

If you or someone you know is struggling with letting go & needs some help navigating the 3 P’s and wants to live their best Option B, please call Specialized Therapy Associates today at 201-488-6678.

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The truth is that recovery is not a quick fix. Addiction is a family disease and it affects everyone in the family, not just the person with the identified problem of being an alcoholic or addict. When living with someone with active addiction the family system shifts to the life revolving around the addict. As addiction progresses families learn unhealthy ways to cope as day to day life begins to feel like chaos. Families need to learn their role in the family disease in order for recovery to be possible. Did they enable the person? Keep secrets for them? Ignore the problem and pretend that everything was just fine? Cover for them by calling them out of work or school? Try to “fix” the person with addiction at a cost to your own health?

Mutual Support and the Family

Just as the person with the addiction will need time and support in their own recovery process, so will each family member. The family as a whole also needs time to learn and get comfortable with the “new normal”. Mutual support meetings such as al-anon and nar-anon are great places for family members to get support from others going through similar experiences. People can also benefit from both individual and family therapy to start to heal and rebuild trust. In order for the family to become healthy, each person must learn assertive communication and healthy boundaries. When each individual works toward recovery the greater chance for recovery for the whole family!

To learn more about Addiction Family Services and the path to recovery please call (201)488-6678 or visit us at specialized therapy to schedule an appointment.

The post Addiction Is A Family Disease first appeared on Specialized Therapy.

The post Addiction Is A Family Disease appeared first on Specialized Therapy.

As the addiction progresses the sense of what is healthy or “normal” is quickly lost. Family members want to be helpful and supportive in any way they can. However, family members find themselves helping too much as the lines between supporting and enabling become blurred.

Being supportive involves helping, advocating for, or assisting someone. It is healthy and allows the natural consequences of their actions to occur. The line to enabling is crossed when someone starts covering up for, bailing out, or preventing an addict from experiencing their consequences.

Examples of enabling include

• Making excuses for them (i.e. calling out of work for them)
• Blaming other for their behavior
• Providing extreme or unnecessary financial support
• Bailing them out of trouble (hiring lawyers, paying their fines)
• Taking on their responsibilities
• Not following through on set consequences

Making the change from enabling to supporting is challenging and can feel uncomfortable can cause stress. For many people it feels like having to take a “tough love” approach with their loved one. It hurts to see your loved one in pain especially if they try to make you to feel that you are causing it or making it worse. 

Learning the difference between healthy supporting and enabling can literally be a matter of life and death. Making the change from enabling to helping can help put a stop to loving someone to death and allowing their self-destructive behavior to continue. It is the most important thing you can do for yourself, your loved one, and the rest of your family.

If you would like to learn more about stopping enabling behavior or our other addiction family support services please call us at (201)488-6678 or visit our website at https://www.specializedtherapy.com

The post Lovingly Supportive or Loving Someone to Death – What is Enabling? first appeared on Specialized Therapy.

The post Lovingly Supportive or Loving Someone to Death – What is Enabling? appeared first on Specialized Therapy.